i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
