Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
