problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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