Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
