This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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