I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
