Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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