porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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