That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
