hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
