bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
