So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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