there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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