Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
