Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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