No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
