She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
