He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
