We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Such a big mess for such a small penis
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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