I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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