I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
