I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
