just come out here and I will go home with you...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
