New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
