we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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