i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
