she was so not down for the gang bang
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
