How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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