I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
