You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
