I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
