the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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