I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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