I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
