It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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