shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
sarcasm needs its own font
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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