Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
