i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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