I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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