She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
