goodnight i made you a song goodbye
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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