sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
