He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
