OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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