do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
