Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
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