dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
