your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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