In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
