Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
