I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
