I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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