I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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