ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
