considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
