Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's blow job season.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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