Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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