This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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